What If It Had Happened At A Bank?

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Trey writes about Paula, who had a problem with her credit union, and received a pie for her troubles.

I got to thinking, what if this had happened at a large bank? What would have been the response?

The following is a [fictional, duh] conversation between the VP of Customer Service (CS) and somebody in Legal (L) concerning an intended course of action:

CS: Hi, Jim. Wanted to talk to you about something we’d like to do for one of our customers that recently had a problem with us.

L [Thinking that customers have problems everyday, why would this one be special]: Sure. What’s up.

CS: We’d like to send her a pie as a way of saying we’re sorry for the trouble we caused her.

L: No can do.

CS: Really? Why’s that?

L: She might be overweight, and be offended that we’re sending her a high-fat, high-calorie pie. She could sue us, claiming we caused her mental anguish.

CS: Hmmm….I hadn’t thought of that.

L: Not only that, but many pies have nuts in them, or are made with chocolate that come into contact with nuts. She could be allergic to nuts, eat the pie, break out in hives, and sue us.

CS: Gee….good point.

L: And did you consider that the bakery that makes the pie might employ illegal immigrants? If word gets out that we bought a pie from that bakery, we’d have a public relations nightmare on our hands, and get sued.

CS [Thinking that this is why Jim makes the big bucks]: Wow. I hadn’t considered any of that. Maybe we should just send a letter to apologize.

L: Let me see it before it goes out.

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