We Regret To Inform You

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My CFO (Mrs. Shevlin) tells me that, while we are in no danger of going out of business, we need to do something to improve our bottom line. So, there are going to be some changes around here (this blog, that is).

Dear Valued Reader:

Due to blogging business conditions, we must institute some policy changes. The following changes are effective retroactive to January 1:

1) Blog reading fee. Lifetime free readership will no longer be available. Per the terms of our agreement — that the end of anybody’s lifetime allows us to revoke the offer — free readership of this blog will no longer be offered. (If you think this is unfair, ask the credit card companies about their universal default policies). Retroactive to January 1, you will be charged a $.25 fee for each blog post you read, whether you link directly to the site, view it in a reader, or are simply subscribed to it at the time it was posted.

2) Subscription reversal fee. Requests to unsubscribe from this blog will be assessed with a $25 premature disconnect service charge. At this time, subscription reversal requests cannot be taken online, as my eCommerce site is currently down for scheduled maintenance. Please mail your requests to the home office address, which can be found on my eCommerce site.

3) Inactive reader fee. For every week that goes by in which you do NOT read a blog post, you will be assessed a $.50 fee. For any month in which you do not read a single post, a $5 charge will be levied.

4) Comment reply charge. The good news is that commenting will continue to be free. However, there will be a charge for any comment that I reply to — $.25 per reply if I agree with what you said, and $1 per reply if I disagree.

5) Link rebate. For every link back to this blog that you provide, you will be credited with 1 point towards your Marketing Whims Loyalty Program account. For links that improve this site’s Technorati ranking, you will receive two points.

Thank you for your understanding and continued patronage. Your business is very important to us. Please note that the new policies only apply to employees of financial institutions. It’s my small form of revenge for the trouble and hassles you’ve put me through recently.


The Blogger

What impact will these changes have on the bottom line? I’m not really sure, but the experts tell me that if I ask you just ONE SIMPLE QUESTION, I’ll be able to predict the future growth of this blog. So here goes:

How likely are you to refer this blog to your family and friends (select ONE answer)?

___ 9 Very very likely

___ 10 Most definitely likely

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