Snarketing Or Die

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My take:  Businesses must understand that those that don’t invest in snarketing will get left behind and die.

Snarketing enables marketers to formulate more relevant micro-segmented strategies, identify peer influencers, achieve customer intimacy, and enslave customers instead of wasting money on traditional marketing efforts like mass media, email, and Facebook.


Organizations on the whole are aware of the benefits of snarketing, but the extent of implementation and competency varies.

For those struggling to handle snarketing, it is not due to a lack of knowledge of what snarketing entails, but figuring out how to best align any snarketing investment with their company’s business KPIs.

To establish a real business case, they have to be able to answer the question of how does better understanding snarketing change anything for the business.


One company that has experienced the benefits of snarketing is First National Chartered Bank.

According the bank’s Chief Snarketing Officer, snarketing is a big enabler for the organization’s aim to be the world’s best consumer bank. The bank’s internally-developed snarketing app, which reads the minds of consumers and makes them do what the bank wants them to do, helped improve sales (well, on a particularly Tuesday in July, that is).

The idea to have a snarketing tool first came about in 2008, which the bank says was part of figuring out how to beat customers into submission, and to stop pretending to be nice to people and acting like the bank really cared about them.


According to industry analysts, waiting until the competition has started getting results from snarketing can put a company at a disadvantage for between 12 to 180 months. 

The time a company’s rival has realized the returns from its snarketing investment, it becomes their competitive advantage. [I realize that this sentence makes no sense. I lifted it from a ZDNet article, and used it near-verbatim to demonstrate how poorly edited some of this crap is]

Bottom line: Get snarketing or get left behind and die.

p.s. Feel free to substitute your favorite buzzword (social media, big data, word-of-mouth marketing, etc. ) for snarketing in this post, and post it as proof of your thought leadership on your own pitiful little blog. 

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