1,001 Things Banks and Credit Unions Shouldn’t Tweet

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Jeff Bullas recently wrote an excellent post on the 30 things you shouldn’t share on social media. Some of the gems (in my opinion) include:

  • You’re having (or thinking of having) an extramarital affair
  • Your financial information
  • Your passwords or hints about your passwords
  • Your holiday plans
  • What you ate for breakfast

All in all, it was an excellent list. Thanks, Jeff. But after reading it, I couldn’t help but wonder: Why stop at 30? I bet that we could easily come up with 1,001 things you shouldn’t share on social media, or more narrowly, on Twitter.

So here goes:

31. Don’t tweet the play-by-play of baseball games. I unfollowed somebody because of this (and I bet he remembers). If we want to know what’s going on in the game, we’ll watch it for ourselves. There are 1,328 sports channels on cable TV. We can don’t need your “color” analysis.

32. Don’t tweet a second-by-second update on your plane delay. What are you, the first person in the history of mankind to suffer through an airport/airline/airplane delay? Aren’t you special.

33. Don’t start a tweet with the words “I just remembered…” Because you didn’t just remember it was your birthday or that you’re going to Tahiti tomorrow. You’ve been thinking about it for weeks, and we know it. What kind of idiots do you take us for?

34. Don’t tweet inspirational quotes. Be honest: Do you turn to the person in the next cube (I know you don’t have your own office) and casually cite some deep, incisive quotation from Voltaire or whoever? Of course not. So why do you do it on Twitter? Because you need to be the center of attention in the universe at all times, and since you have nothing original to say, you spout out some quote from a long-dead guy.

Before we continue with our list, allow me to anticipate a comment I know you want to make: “I disagree with you, Ron. I do those things, and I like tweeting those things on Twitter. You’re wrong about this.”

Save your breath. You can’t convince me to change my opinion. But, of course, the shoe fits on the other foot, as well: I could go on with my list of 1,001 things that you shouldn’t tweet about, but what good would that do? If you want to tweet those things, that’s what you’re going to do.

That’s the beauty of the technology: Different people can use it for their own unique needs and purposes. And even if I were to survey a million Twitter users and found that they agree with me that tweets like the ones in my list are annoying, so what? Whose problem is that? Not the tweeters.

So, go ahead, tweet about your affairs. Share revealing pictures of yourself drunk at parties. In fact, if you do any of the things on Jeff’s or my list, I’d like to give you money. I’ll need your bank account number so I can transfer the funds directly. Oh, and since I’d like to make sure that the money actually gets transferred, please give me the username and password to the account.

Or, feel free to add to the list. I fell a little short of 1,001.

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