This parody video is pretty funny, so it must be hitting close to home. If you can’t watch YouTube videos at work, you can (1) read the script below, and/or (2) get your financial institution to change its silly policy.

Customer: I was hoping you could help me.

Sales Rep: We can make that happen!

Customer: I want to open a checking account.

Sales Rep: What if I told you you could open a checking account… AND help your daughter pay down her student loan?

Customer: I don’t have a daughter.

Sales Rep: Maybe not. But I’d bet you have a wife who’s always dreamed of starting her own vineyard.

Customer: My wife died three years ago.

Sales Rep: That must be hard — raising an adopted Chinese baby by yourself.

Customer: I don’t have Chinese baby.

Sales Rep: Maybe not. But with a few smart investments, you could afford one.

Customer: Excuse me?

Sales Rep: And fly her back to China for a visit.

Customer: What?

Sales Rep: I know how much maintaining her Chinese roots would mean to your dead wife.

Customer: I just want to open a checking account.

Sales Rep: What if I told you you could open a checking account… AND pay for your daughter to go to medical school. She’s Chinese? She’d appreciate that.

Customer: I’m out of here.

Sales Rep: What if I told you you could get out of here AND finance your dead wife’s medical Chinese baby vineyard.