This parody video is pretty funny, so it must be hitting close to home. If you can’t watch YouTube videos at work, you can (1) read the script below, and/or (2) get your financial institution to change its silly policy.
Customer: I was hoping you could help me.
Sales Rep: We can make that happen!
Customer: I want to open a checking account.
Sales Rep: What if I told you you could open a checking account… AND help your daughter pay down her student loan?
Customer: I don’t have a daughter.
Sales Rep: Maybe not. But I’d bet you have a wife who’s always dreamed of starting her own vineyard.
Customer: My wife died three years ago.
Sales Rep: That must be hard — raising an adopted Chinese baby by yourself.
Customer: I don’t have Chinese baby.
Sales Rep: Maybe not. But with a few smart investments, you could afford one.
Customer: Excuse me?
Sales Rep: And fly her back to China for a visit.
Sales Rep: I know how much maintaining her Chinese roots would mean to your dead wife.
Customer: I just want to open a checking account.
Sales Rep: What if I told you you could open a checking account… AND pay for your daughter to go to medical school. She’s Chinese? She’d appreciate that.
Customer: I’m out of here.
Sales Rep: What if I told you you could get out of here AND finance your dead wife’s medical Chinese baby vineyard.