Over the past couple of years, it’s become unfashionable to be considered part of some segment of consumers called the “1%.” 

I don’t know what the all fuss is about. I’m part of the 1%, and damn proud of it. 

Here’s how I figured out I was part of the 1%:

An organization called Public Policy Polling wasted somebody’s money by surveying consumers to find out that the following percentage of people believed the following things:

28%      The planet is secretly ruled by the New World Order
15%      There's mind-control technology hidden in TV signals
14%      Big Foot exists
14%      The CIA had a hand in the 1980s crack epidemic
13%      Obama is the Anti-Christ
6%       Osama Bin Laden is alive
5%       Paul McCartney died in the mid-60s
4%       Society is ruled by Lizard People
------
99%

There’s the 99%, folks. I’m damn proud to be part of the 1%. (Although I am a big fan of the Lizard King).