Announcing The First Annual Crabby Awards (Part I)

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In case you missed it, the annual Webby awards were announced recently, and once again I’m left with the same thought I’m left with every year: “[email protected]# What the hell were they [email protected]#.” To rectify matters, I’m pleased to announce the winners of the first annual Crabby awards, honoring the sites that should have been honored.

Winner in the Makes A Contribution To Society category: SpareChange.com

The judging panel for the Crabbies was recently in San Francisco, and saddened by the number of homeless people begging for change on the streets. With summer rapidly approaching in SF, you know what this means: It’s going to get too cold for the homeless to stay out in the streets.

This is where SpareChange.com comes in.

You know those annoying intercept pages that you’re forced to put up with when logging in to your financial accounts so your bank or brokerage can hit you with yet another unwanted offer? SpareChange.com uses that technology to solicit offers for your spare change for the homeless.

Here’s how it works: Similar to staking out specific street corners to ask for your spare change,”Spare Change Collection Specialists” register with SpareChange.com to claim specific Web sites. Using technology from Google, the specialists bid on specific sites in an auction style manner. When you donate your spare change, SpareChange.com transfers the money from the account of your choice to the specialist’s PayPal account.


Winner in the Makes Life Better category: Don’tChangeAG*dDamnedThing.ca

The good folks at VanCity credit union in Vancouver were nominated for a Webby for their ChangeEverything.ca site. No offense intended, but it’s no surprise to me that they didn’t win. By the Crabbies judging panel’s estimates, there are 80 million in North America that don’t want you (or anyone else) to change a g*d damned thing. As one judge put it, “I’ve worked my ass off for the past 30 years to get things the way they are — that is, the way I want them to be — and now you want to come along and change everything? NFW!”

Enter Don’tChangeAG*dDamnedThing.ca.

Using The Wayback Machine, users of Don’tChangeAG*dDamnedThing.ca register their desired sites, specify a point in time in the past, and then the next time they visit that site, the see it THE WAY IT WAS AT THAT POINT IN TIME.

For example — going back to the SpareChange.com example of intercept pages at bank sites — if you no longer want to be bothered by these pages when you access your bank account, simply register your bank’s site at Don’tChangeAG*dDamnedThing.ca, pick a date before the intercept pages were implemented, and VOILA! The next time you log in, you won’t see these annoying pages.

Personally, I’ve registered wordpress.com. This way, when I go to the admin pages for my blog, I no longer have to deal with the cockamamie changes that the wordpress people have put me through over the past few months, with their interface changes, and ridiculous pop-ups when someone mouses over a link on a blog post, or these completely irrelevant links that all of a sudden showed up on my blog posts.

Winner in the Only Social Network We Need category: No_One.com

No_One is actually an acronym that stands for Network Of One. No_One.com looks suspiciously like Facebook but with one major difference: You can’t access anybody else’s page, and no one can access your page. Hence, the “network of one.” Finally, no annoying jerks “writing on your wall”, inviting you to stupid groups, or “poking” you. The social network for the 80 million Crankys who just want to be left alone.

Well, there you have it, the winners of the first annual Crabby awards, part one. Stay tuned for part two.

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