10 things your bank won’t tell you

Check out this interesting article that came out yesterday, 10 Things Your Bank Won’t Tell You. It’s a candidly cynical perspective on financial marketing, and attacks many of the common messages financial institutions use in their advertising.

Here’s the list:

1.) “Our branches are there to sell you, not serve you.”

2.) “Our fees will only go up.”

3.) “We change our interest rates all the time.”

4.) “College campuses are gold mines for us.”

5.) “In debt? The courts won’t help.”

6.) “We’re excited about your trip to Europe, too!”

7.) “For all the fine print, we don’t disclose very much.”

8.) “Your money might be better off elsewhere.”

9.) “When it comes to banks, smaller is sometimes better.”

10.) “Your online account information isn’t necessarily accurate.”

In the article, the author goes into detail for each item on his list.

What would you add? How about:

11.) “We can’t stop phishing attacks.”

What do you think belongs in the list?



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9 Responses

  1. Ben Rogers Says:

    How about: We actually want you to overdraft on your checking account … regularly.

    On a related note: It’s very easy to turn off your overdraft privileges, but I will pretend like it’s not.

  2. Ron Shevlin Says:

    Ben beat me to the punch.

    I was going to add: “We make more money from fees than from the spread.”

    Ben’s wording is much better.

  3. Winter Prosapio Says:

    How about: There is a big difference between credit unions and banks. And it’s easy to join one.

    Okay, I admidt, I’m biased on that one.

    One more: There’s a reason we call it a Teaser Rate - Nya nya nya - we GOT YOU!

  4. Jeffry Pilcher Says:

    “Our service is okay, but it’s not really all that great.”

  5. Ron Shevlin Says:

    “Our difference is our people (if you can interact with them before they quit or we lay them off).”

  6. Jeffry Pilcher Says:

    “You really are just a number.”

  7. Ron Shevlin Says:

    “Your baby is ugly.”

  8. Jimmy Marks Says:

    “In the event of a financial emergency, what should you do? Don’t ask us…we don’t care.”

    and:

    “We scream and yell about how CUs get special treatment from the government, but we don’t seem to mind when we flop and the Feds have to bail us out!”

  9. Melina Young Says:

    That is just SICK. Reading that makes me cringe. How about:

    “We give you fair warning to decline an increase in your interest rate.” - hidden in the fine print of a 16-page document where you have to jump through 5 golden hoops and sell us your soul in exchange. (Bank of America)

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